Sunday, May 30, 2010

Motivation/Inspiration

Nothing like procrastination to get you back to doing things you've been putting off for ages/forgotten about.

In all honestu, as much as I'd like to deny it, I seem to have the lowest motivation set point of anyone I know. Left to my own devices I will do very little, spend most of my time dancing and daydreaming and watching endless hours of television. Paradoxically (shouldn't use words like that) I've always got 3 million ideas running through my mind. It seems that without someone next to me to push me, I get nothing done. And it's not even a question of them telling me to get stuff done, my incredibly stubborn nature will make sure than anything like that has absolutely no effect on me. No, it all seems to come down to 1 of 2 things: either their constant massaging of my ego or their constant put downs of the same.

Fickle I know. The most productive periods of my life are those where I am trying to live up to someone's high expectations of me, or trying to prove someone's low expectations of me wrong. So where the hell am I now? No one seems to expect any more or any less of me. I no longer surprise or dissapoint. I've become everything I don't need, my own condemnation to apathy.

And this is all a rant that will soon be overtaken by something new, or someone who will push.

Signing out...
Cesar

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