Sometimes i dont know. I know that maybe it shouldnt be, maybe losing someone you love, maybe not loving at all, maybe not being able to follow your passion or fulfill your dreams, those are the real losses in your life. For me though, true fear, probably my only fear, is dieing.. Leaving this earth and not being remembered, leaving this earth period. Not being able to do all the things that I wish i could.
Yes, its selfish i guess, its probably misguided, its probably because i'm young and foolish, but right now, death is the worst that could happen to me. Its fear of the unkown, its like being pushed into a dark room and knowing that you will never come out again.And then i wonder, should i believe in god then? Would it make this end, this inevitablitly easier knowing that something lay ahead, that i would come back one day?
Thats the emotionaly cop-out... Its the easy route, the comforting one... No, i couldnt. It just wouldnt make sense. I can't override all my other objections to God and religion purely to creat a safehaven for my fears. I will die one day, untill then i will try to leave a mark behind, so that years after i am gone, someone will say: Remeber Cesar, he did this, he made me feel good on this day, he change us, he changes something about our world....
So yes, death is the worst punishment. Not because their might not be anything after it, no; but because their is nothing more for you to leave behind.
Signing out
Cesar
