It makes me so angry...

... that the moment I think I'm over you, you come back into my life and make me feel exactly the same way you used to. In love with you, to the point where spending the rest of my life with you seems a certainty, a perfect possibility, the only possibility. There's a condition. I need to be honest. We can't exist together if you don't know everything. If afterwards you hate me, if afterwards we break this, if afterwards we find that maybe we were wrong, that we aren't meant to be. Well, at least we tried. No more what ifs...

Serendipity...

Serendipity

–noun

1.	an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

2.	good fortune; luck

Those who know me, know I have a hard time believing in anything. I have issue with the concept of god and religion baffles me. Politics is fraught with pointless exercises in stupidity. Justice is, to be frank, interpreted in so many different ways that its universality doesn't come close to existing. Science is too dispassionate and narrow minded to ever really be an answer. So what's left? Well call it superstition, call it plain stupidity, but all that we are left with is Luck.
Good old Lady Luck. That beautiful goddess that pops up in the most ridiculous of places and does things we never imagined could happen. To the naysayers: think about it. The people you are closest to in life, your dearest friends, how did you meet? I know for a fact that had we both not, quite randomly, decided to pluck up the courage to ask the random person walking towards the same building one cold september day 2 years ago, i would not have the amazing friends i do. (and who i have neglected over the past few months and promise to make it up to them). Heck, the great loves of our lives come about in acts of complete random chance! What if i hadn't found the surname Hohenstein intriguing, and she hadn't thought that reading 10 books over the holidays was an attractive quality.... I wouldn't be teaching dance, my blood and soul, if it wasn't for a lazy saturday night working behind a bar watching strictly and some bored punters being interested in why i was berating the tv. Don't get me wrong, im not saying everything will just fall into your lap if you wait around for your lucky day. Its always up to you to take a lucky break and make it into something incredible....
In the end you can put it down to coincidence, just a question of being in the right place at the right time. I say i was lucky to be there, because without it, i wouldn't have half of the joy i do today!

Signing out....
Cesar

Love

Sometimes I think we use it too freely, or maybe we just don’t realize how much it means, or maybe it really is that easy. Falling hard, falling fast. Maybe that’s ok, not needy, or creepy, or a problem. Why wait months to say I love you, if u mean it, say it. Surely all that matters is that in that moment, what you are saying is honest and real. It’s unfair that we are judged because we have the courage to say what we feel. I LOVE YOU! Who knows if I will in two days, two months, two years. What matters is that right here, right now, I do. I walk away from u skipping, smiling, with my heart skipping beats and an uncontrollable laughter inside me, a fountain of hope that this won’t end too soon, and that i will get to spend more time in your arms.
And then it ends. You don’t feel the same, you don’t know what you feel, you feel it for someone else. And I break, again. Maybe it’s my fault for letting it be so easy, for falling. So hard. So fast. I promise you one thing though, I meant every word. It will pass, or it won’t. Maybe in 10 years ill still think you were the one that got away, but I won’t regret it, because i tried. Just know that i never lied... I wish things had worked out differently. Maybe they still can...

Signing out...
Cesar