Justin awoke with a start, trembling and covered in an ice cold blanket of sweat, smotering him like a billowing cloud. It was alive in him again, stiring... waiting... exploiting his deep dark corners. He has to move, get up, walk, shake of this oppressive silence which let him dwell on his darkest fantasies...
Why did this happen? No matter what those fucking shrinks said, his childhood was not blame and the crackpot Freudian theories were was off when they said it all boiled down to sexual repression. There was nothing in his childhood to proke these, or even inspire them. It had been perfectly moral; molested by his uncle, corporal punishment both at school and at home, a loving father (when sober), football with his mates... An exemplary normal childhood... and repression? they had no fucking idea how unrepressed these... feelings? No. urges? Yeah, urges will do. were...
No, the real problem in his life was just that. His life! His goddam, pointless, routine, mundane, society restricted, meagerly clawed back life... It was those arround him that made him feel, awkward as if he were the only one with a booger dangling out of his nose while standing at a podium bellowing at a stadium sized crowed. They were the abnormal ones, to think that no one else felt thing they shouldn't, even did things they shouldn't! WHY THE FUCKING HELL SHOULDN' T THEY!
Why does everything have to been black and white. Pain, sex, muder, silence, noise, blood, hell, heaven... What does it all mean, when all that realy affects us the urge...
Signing out...
Cesar
Why did this happen? No matter what those fucking shrinks said, his childhood was not blame and the crackpot Freudian theories were was off when they said it all boiled down to sexual repression. There was nothing in his childhood to proke these, or even inspire them. It had been perfectly moral; molested by his uncle, corporal punishment both at school and at home, a loving father (when sober), football with his mates... An exemplary normal childhood... and repression? they had no fucking idea how unrepressed these... feelings? No. urges? Yeah, urges will do. were...
No, the real problem in his life was just that. His life! His goddam, pointless, routine, mundane, society restricted, meagerly clawed back life... It was those arround him that made him feel, awkward as if he were the only one with a booger dangling out of his nose while standing at a podium bellowing at a stadium sized crowed. They were the abnormal ones, to think that no one else felt thing they shouldn't, even did things they shouldn't! WHY THE FUCKING HELL SHOULDN' T THEY!
Why does everything have to been black and white. Pain, sex, muder, silence, noise, blood, hell, heaven... What does it all mean, when all that realy affects us the urge...
Signing out...
Cesar
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